A Little Humor ...
Diapers and Politicians should be changed often, both for the same reason.
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD, AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips, an elderly man, from Orangeville, Ontario, Canada was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things..
He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me".
Then the police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available" George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Friends, Martha and Sadie were chatting...
Martha said "I don't like being the one to tell you this Sadie, but your husband Max has been chasing women...and him over 80!"
Sadie responded..."Yeah, hes 82, so what?!" Dogs chase cars but when they catch one, can they drive it?!"